Catharsis

Hi there.

So there’s the blog thing that I toyed with for awhile, and then I didn’t do anything with it. I suppose some explanation is required or, at least, expected.

As many of you know (and if you didn’t, read the description of the blog) I am a Community Manager. I spend most of my day speaking publicly, my words and actions representing a studio. For people like me, a blog, or any type of public venue whereby you express opinion for that matter, can often times be considered a liability. There’s inherent risk in allowing myself to speak candidly about current events, my day to day interactions or the frelling traffic that I sit in every frelling day for upwards of an hour…but I digress.

As Community Managers, we spend so much of our time speaking for others, digesting the feedback and reporting it, and managing the messaging that often times our own voices and id becomes…distant. It’s a willing sacrifice that we make to pursue the career that we love but there are times that it wears on you. The times that you want, very much, to troll someone back, to snap, to just pound the keyboard with reckless abandon are always (or at least they should be ;)) brought into perspective by the fact that you still need to put food on the table and a roof over the head of you and your family, where applicable.

There are however moments of Catharsis.

From time to time, I will pop open a notepad file and type…I will type all of the things that are frustrating me. I type every snarky, mean, nasty, vitriolic response that I have ever wanted to type to someone who has the temerity to judge me on a personal level. I type a message to the person who *just* *doesn’t* *get* *it* and kindly ask them to please OH DEAR GOD LEARN TO READ THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH AUUUUUGHAUUUUUUGHAUUUUUGH….

After I have returned to breathing at normal levels and my keyboard has stopped smoking I take a step back.

And I get perspective.

It’s cleansing to allow yourself these brief respites into madness, necessary in some ways.

And since I can’t drink, I quit smoking and I’m not eating red meat anymore, you should all count yourselves lucky I’m not pulling a Jay and Silent Bob…

I'm looking at you Magnolia-Fan

What was I talking about?

Oh…I haven’t blogged in awhile because I got really busy, took a new job, moved across country, got really busy again and generally have been doing other things than allowing myself the time to put figurative pen to figurative paper.

We’ll see if this sticks.

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3 comments
  1. Shadow said:

    Sounds like the writing equivalent of screaming in a pillow, or hitting a punching bag. Sublimating your own identity to that of another is one of the things I always found most impressive about your field, and don’t know if I could do just that, let alone all the other crap you guys have to put up with.

  2. Wertit said:

    Needs more Jay and Silent Bob! Will you use this space to vent at former bloggers who are from Florida and like Shadow Warriors?

  3. *blinks*

    You always seem so… mild-mannered and in control. I’d wondered what your secret was, to be honest – most times that I have to deal with that kind of sheer stupidity, I go in with phasers set on snark and to hell with the consequences. I can see, though, how your job responsibilities simply don’t allow you that ‘luxury’. And Gods, I really hope I’ve never been the cause for one of your vitriolic Notepad catharses… if so, I sincerely apologize right now.

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